The tenth part of the Discovering series.
Gibbs is watching Ducky sleep.
An established relationship story.
Written: April 2007. Word count: 780.
Finally, Duck's asleep.
Can't say he's sleeping peacefully, because I can see he's not. But at least he's sleeping. I haven't loved him for over three decades without knowing how to get him to sleep, and not by resorting to drugs.
My poor Ducky.
He feels dreadful. He blames himself. Don't know why. I kissed him. He didn't kiss me. I've told him that, more than once. But he won't listen. Keeps on saying he's sorry. I keep telling him not to be. That I don't mind. Which I don't. That it doesn't bother me. Which it doesn't.
Besides, he needed to be kissed. His mom had just died for heaven's sake. And they were very close. He thinks he's being foolish because he's so upset; but he's not. I told him that too. It's only natural he's upset. Hell, I miss her. I cared about her.
Okay, so when I kissed him I hadn't expected everyone to suddenly appear. But so what? I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not ashamed of Ducky. Of what we have. He's mine and I love him. And I don't care who knows.
Maybe it wasn't quite the way I'd have liked the kids and Jenn to find out, but it happened. It can't unhappen - which is what Duck has often told me. Hmmm, maybe when he wakes up I'll remind him of that. Or then again, maybe not.
He's mine, and I'm not going to lose him.
He's mine, and I'm going to make damn certain that no one hurts him. That no one says anything negative to him. Or about him.
He's mine, and I reckoned it was time that I made sure people knew that.
So I told them.
Told them that they had a nerve calling themselves agents, if they couldn't see what went on in front of their eyes. Don't know why Palmer in particular blushed at that point and looked around him. And had been going on for as long as, and a damn sight longer, than any of them had been with NCIS. Jenn looked a bit sick at that; guess I can't really blame her.
Abbs was great. Came over, took Ducky from my arms and held him herself. Told him how sorry she was, how wonderful his mom had been, told him how much his mom had liked Bert. Just talked to him; talked to him as if she hadn't just seen me kissing him.
They all came over after that. Did what they'd come down to do, express their sympathy. Asked if they could do anything. Normal stuff.
Saw something in Ziva's eyes that surprised me. I think for a minute she wanted to do what Abby had done, hug Ducky. But that can't be right. Ziva's changed over the time she's been with us; she's really part of the team now. She made her choice: choose me over Jenn, but she's not like the rest of us. She doesn't hug like we do; it's not in her nature. So it's just me thinking I saw something in her.
Duck was calm on the drive to the home, and when dealing with all the necessities that death produces. He thanked all the staff, typical Ducky. He even suggested we went back to the office. But I told him no, and brought him home.
Then he broke down and cried in my arms. Cried for his mother, and then when he was cried out, he started to apologize and get upset over what had happened in Autopsy.
So I took him to bed. Might not have been the most sensitive thing to do. But it was the right thing to do. I know that. I know him. He's mine. And I did what I do best; I loved him.
I think it helped. I hope so. Maybe in the morning he'll feel a bit better. Not about his mom, but about what happened in Autopsy. Maybe he'll listen to me then. Maybe he'll believe me when I tell him that I don't care that they know I love him.
He seemed a bit less upset after I'd made love to him. Loving Ducky tends to heal him. But if he's still upset and worried by it, I'll just go on reassuring him; telling him it's okay. I'll do what I do best, I'll love him and show him how much I love him.
I'm sure in time he'll see that the kids don't mind; he'll see that I don't mind then all knowing.
He's sleeping now, but he's not resting. Think I'll go and lay back down next to him, hold him. That might help.
LINKS TO ALL THE STORIES IN THE DISCOVERING SERIES
What Have I Done?
He Always Does
I Know How He Felt
I Told Them
Maybe I Should
The Last Day
I Don't Believe It
Just Let Her Try
I Have Him
That's What I'll Do
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