Ashleigh Anpilova


It was the day Kelly would have been twenty-one. Jethro recalls his favorite memory of his little girl.

An established relationship story.

Written: March 2007. Word count: 500.



If Kelly had lived, hadn't been murdered, she'd have been twenty-one today.




My baby girl, twenty-one. It's hard to imagine. It's impossible to imagine.


What would she be like? What would she be? She could even be a mother; I could be grandfather. Imagine that. I can't.


I still miss her. Guess I always will. Don't often consciously think of her. Don't need to. Yet sometimes, when I see what the world has become, when I deal with hell on earth each day, sometimes part of me . . . Haven't even told Duck of those thoughts.


It's down to Ducky I'm writing this. He knew what today was; he'd remembered. That's my Duck. He held me extra tightly this morning. Held me and was silent. Held me and said so much with a hug, a kiss, a touch, a look. Then he suggested that it might do me good if I wrote about Kelly, wrote about my favorite memory of her.


So I am.


My favorite memory of Kelly. How to choose one from so many. So many and yet not enough. But there is one, daft one really. But it says so much about her; about my little girl. Reminds me of her in so many ways.


It's a song; well kind of a song. Her favorite. The one she used to beg me to sing over and over again to her. Twinkle,Twinkle, Little Star, was what it was. Used to tell Kelly that she was her daddy's little star.


Don't know if I can still remember all the words; should be able to given how many hundreds of times I sang it to her. Not that I'm going to sing it now.


Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are!

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder what you are!


It's got more verses than that; but they aren't as well known, and I can't remember them. Know there's something about a traveler in the dark being guided by the star, and how the star never shuts its eye till sunlight.


That's my Kelly. She's my starlight. Don't know if I believe in the afterlife. Don't know if I want to. But you can't deny stars, they're there. And somehow I know. I know she's . . .


Love you, Kelly. Always will. You brought so much brightness to my life. You shone so brightly for such a short time. And yet you're still shining.


Duck was right, but then he usually is. writing this has helped. It's also reaffirmed what I know: life's too short. We have to grab what we can now. Hold on. Do what's right for us. Love who we love, not who we 'should' love.


To hell with it. I'm tired of hiding what Ducky is to me. Doing so is wrong.


You know Duck and Kelly are a lot alike in many ways. Two lots of starlight.


Time I let both shine. 



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