DID YOU THINK?
Following a blow to the head which caused Gibbs to lose his memory, Ducky makes a decision as to what to tell him.
An established relationship story.
Written: May 2011. Word count: 500.
"Why, Duck? Why did you have to tell me?" Furious with his lover, Gibbs moved closer, deliberately attempting to intimidate Ducky by towering over him.
Ducky, however, didn't look the slightest bit intimidated, which annoyed Gibbs even more. Instead he stood his ground, tilted his head back further and gazed up at Gibbs. "I thought -"
"You thought, did you?" Gibbs snarled the words.
Ducky sighed. "Yes, Jethro. I thought. I thought for quite some time and decided it was for the best."
"Ah, gee, Duck, if that was 'for the best', I'd hate to see your worst."
Ducky put his hand on Gibbs's arm. "Jethro, I -" He stopped abruptly as Gibbs shook it off.
"Thought doctors were meant to heal pain, not cause it." As he glared down, Gibbs saw his pain reflected in Ducky's eyes. Good, he thought, silencing the part of him that told him he was behaving like an idiot.
"Jethro," Ducky's tone was conciliatory, his voice was low. "You had lost your memory, the one thing you remembered was me and our relationship. Did you really want to carry on not knowing about your past, about -"
"My dead wife and daughter?" Gibbs spat the words at Ducky. "You know what, Ducky? Yeah, I would have done - given the choice. But I didn't get the choice, did I? You just decided what was best." Gibbs moved an inch closer and drew himself up to his full height, as he continued to loom over Ducky.
"Jethro." Now Ducky spoke more forcefully. "I love you. I am your lover. But I am not the only person in your life, the only person who has been in your life. The past -"
"Was better off forgotten."
"The past makes us who we are."
"Oh, great. Pop psychology now. Keep it for someone else. Don't try it on me."
"I am sorry I caused you pain, truly I am. I would never wish to hurt you - you must know that. But how would you have felt had I not told you and the memories of Shannon and Kelly come back to you one day in the future? What would you have thought of me? How could I just stand by and let you in effect live a lie? I couldn't. I love you that much."
"Yeah, so you said. Sure got a funny way of showing it." Finally, something seemed to penetrate the defenses Ducky had erected; he gasped at Gibbs's words and took a step backwards. Strangely it didn't make Gibbs feel better. "What you did was . . ." Gibbs sought for a word, but none came. He turned on his heel. "I'm going out. Don't know when I'll be back."
As he slammed the front door behind him, he realized he'd said 'when' not 'if'. He'd go back; they both knew it - just as they both knew Ducky had done what he had to do. "Damn," he cursed, wiping his hand across his eyes. "Damn you, Duck." But the anger had gone.
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