Ashleigh Anpilova


Gibbs leaves on deployment.

An established relationship story.

Written: April 2007. Word count: 600.




"Don't want to leave you, Duck," you say as you pull me into your arms and kiss my ear.


"I know, my dear," I say, holding you tightly. "And I do not want you to go. But we both know that you must."


I hate saying goodbye to you, because I never know for certain that you will return. Not because you do not wish to, but because you may not be able to. You may be taken from me, and that I could not bear.


I force the thoughts from my mind. Instead I press even nearer to you, tightening my already fierce grip, letting my head rest just below your shoulder.


I never tire of being in your arms. I never tire of you kissing me. I never tire of you holding me. I never tire of you caressing me.


I never tire of having you in my arms. I never tire of kissing you. I never tire of holding you. I never tire of caressing you.


We hold on for a little longer. You must know, as I do, that the time will soon come for us to let go; for us to leave the sanctity of our home; for us to go back to being, what we are in public, just good friends.


As always, I will accompany you; I will stand with friends and family and watch you leave on deployment. You will hug me, briefly, as a friend, just as the men around you, your fellow Marines, are hugging their loved ones, men, women and children.


I often find myself wondering how many other couples there are like us; who say their real goodbyes in private; who have to accept a fleeting embrace, with no kiss. We cannot be the only one, of that I am certain.


However, I have no way of finding out what other man is standing,  maybe next to me, wishing that he could kiss his lover, wishing that they did not have to hide their relationship, pretend to be what they are not, wishing that their embrace could be one of lovers, not merely friends. Yet maybe it is better I do not know.


Your arms loosen a little, allowing me to move back, to move back just far enough to enable you to kiss me. Which you do; which you do so well; which you do so very well. You say so much with your kisses, with your hugs; you tell me of your love, your devotion, your affection, your caring. You tell me how important, how vital, I am to you; how without me you are just another person, but with me, you are so much more.


Your tongue brushes my lips and I part my mouth, letting you inside me, enjoying the feel of you joining with me, or you penetrating my body, my soul, my very being. I accept everything you give me, all you have to offer, and I return it to you. And with it, I give you all that I am. All that I can ever be. I give you my heart for you do with as you wish.


I give you my love.


Finally, we cease to kiss, and then we let the embrace become less intense, less desperate, less clingy. And as we do, we slip into our other personas. Our other selves.


We are ready to depart our home and go out into the world.


To embrace as the friends we are.


But whether we are being merely friends, or friends and lovers, we are us. We are together.



Arrival is the sequel to this story.


Feedback is always appreciated

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