TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
Jimmy knows he has to do the right thing.
A pre-slash story.
Written April 2012. Word count: 500.
As Jimmy stood in his kitchen drinking a cup of tea, the words Dr. Mallard had spoken at the end of the recent autopsy came back to him.
'Do you know what the saddest thing of all is, Mr. Palmer? The fact that this poor young man felt he had to live a lie; that he believed he couldn't be true to himself; that he had to hide and lie to himself and those he loved'.
Jimmy sighed and put down his mug. He knew what he had to do; he knew what he had to do to put things right. Even if what he did led to nothing, he had to do the right thing; he had to be true to himself.
"Jimmy!" Breena exclaimed as she opened her front door. "I thought you were busy tonight. Come in." before Jimmy could speak, he was inside her apartment.
He swallowed and stared at the girl he'd asked to marry him, the girl he should be marrying in less than two months, the girl who loved him, the girl he'd tried to convince himself he loved. The girl he'd never loved, not in the way he should have, the girl he never could love. His words would hurt her badly, he knew that; she would be angry, furious even, with him. But no matter how much his words hurt her, no matter how angry they made her, he had to say them. He had to do the right thing.
"Breena," he said softly, taking her hand. "There's something I have to tell you. I'm so very sorry, Breena, so very sorry, but - Oh, Breena, I can't marry you. It wouldn't be right for me to marry you."
He saw the expected tears fill her eyes, but to his surprise no anger showed on her face. Instead she squeezed his hand. "I know, Jimmy," she said softly. "I've always known. I allowed myself to hope, to believe, but deep down I knew."
"Breena," he said, touching her hair. "I never wanted to hurt you."
She smiled a little. "I know you didn't, Jimmy."
"I tried, Breena. I really tried. I wanted to believe you and I could be happy. But . . ."
Breena wiped her eyes. "I know," she said, before surprising Jimmy even more by asking, "Have you told him?"
Jimmy felt his mouth fall open and he shook his head. "How . . . ?"
"Do I know?" Jimmy nodded. "It was in your eyes when you looked at him; in your voice when you talked about him. If you really want to make things right, Jimmy, you have to tell him."
AN HOUR LATER
Jimmy sat on his couch staring at his phone, Breena's words going through his mind, 'If you really want to make things right, Jimmy, you have to tell him'.
He grabbed the phone and pressed a button. "Tim?" he said when it was answered. "It's Jimmy. There's something I have to tell you. Would it be all right if I came over?"
Visiting Tim is the sequel to this story.
Feedback is always appreciated
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