Ashleigh Anpilova


Set at the end of Season Eight (which at the time of writing had not aired).

Tony faces the biggest decision of his life.

A DiNozzo-centric gen story.

Written: March 2011. Word count: 500.




Tony sat in his semi-dark apartment. He had a bottle of beer in his hand, but he wasn't drinking. He'd loosened his tie, but hadn't taken it off. He'd put a CD on, but hadn't started to play it. He'd bought a pizza, but it sat uneaten, growing cold on the table. He was alive, but someone else was dead. He had a decision to make, but he didn't know if he could.


He sighed, finally took a swig of the now warm beer, leaned against the back of the couch and sighed. Why? Why was he alive when a woman he may have gotten to know better was dead? Why was he sitting in the darkness with only one real thought going round or round in his head? Yes or no. No or yes. Such small words, but they were his future.


Rota; the offer of his own team; the team Jenny had offered him once; the team that had gone instead, when he'd foolishly turned it down, to E. J. Bartlett. Rota; it could be his. He'd been offered a second opportunity.


If he turned it down he knew he'd never be offered such a chance again. It was now or never; his one chance to be a team leader. If he didn't take it he was destined to spend the rest of his time at NCIS as second on a team.


He squeezed his eyes shut and remembered what his first Captain had told him about weighing up a decision, of how to consider all options, of looking at the pros and cons, before making it. He'd never bothered in the past, he'd always acted purely on his first reaction, purely on instinct. He hadn't even really thought about the consequences of turning down Rota the first time; not really.


But now he had to. Now he had to think and think hard. He loved working in DC, he loved being part of Team Gibbs, he cared about the rest of the team. He'd missed them all, not that he'd ever tell them, when he'd been Agent Afloat. He enjoyed baiting Tim and Ziva, he enjoyed playing the fool, the job was easy, it didn't really carry any responsibilities and he didn't have to make hard decisions that could mean life or death to someone. He just showed up, did his job and went home again. He was free, single, no ties, he liked his apartment, he loved America, he had a good life.


Could he give that all up? Could he leave DC and move to Spain? Could he take on the responsibility for other people's lives? Could he run a team? Yes, he could. But did he want to?


He took another sip of beer, pulled a face at how warm it was, undid his tie and pulled it out from under his collar. At the end of day the decision really came down to one simple question: did he want a career with NCIS?



Not Knowing How is the sequel to this story.


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