YIELD NOT TO TEMPTATION
By
Ashleigh Anpilova
Ziva has spent the last four years fighting temptation.
A DiNozzo/Ziva first time story.
Written: March 2009. Word count: 1,000.
From the moment she had first seen Anthony DiNozzo she had had to fight temptation.
At first it had been the temptation to pull out her gun and shoot him. Or put her knife to his throat. Or simply to hurt him just enough to let him know you did not imagine your dead partner naked.
From then on not shooting him or putting a knife to his throat or physically hurting him became something she had to fight every day.
She did not know how Gibbs could and would keep a man like DiNozzo around. What did he do? What were his skills, apart from winding everyone up, being cruel to McGee, playing childish pranks, getting out of actually working, flirting with her and every other woman, making endless movie references, and going out of his way to try to get Gibbs's attention?
Then gradually she began to see beneath the mask of Anthony DiNozzo. She began to see why Gibbs kept him around. She began to see he was good at his job. She began to see he was a man you might want to shoot or hurt, but he was also a man you could trust.
Trust was not something that came easily to Ziva. Like respect it had to be earned. And somehow against all her expectations DiNozzo managed to extract both from her.
The first time she had really seen him as someone else, had been during the case when McGee had been accused of the killing of a police-officer. She had believed McGee to be guilty, because in her world a person was guilty until proven innocent - and often even beyond that. Also because it had seemed the only explanation. However, DiNozzo had believed McGee, the man he taunted, teased and belittled at every opportunity, to be innocent. Gibbs's belief in McGee she could almost understand, but not DiNozzo's. Yet he had believed, utterly and totally.
But even though she had begun to see more deeply into his character, still rarely a day had gone by when she had not had to fight the temptation to do something to him. He irritated her, she did not understand him, she did not understand why he made McGee's life a misery, why he came over as being brash and cruel and a fool, why he treated women like objects who existed merely for his pleasure.
But it was not just the 'DiNozzo temptation' she had to fight. It was the rest of the team as well. She was not used to the kind of relationship they had; the kind of bond they had. In Mossad closeness was not encouraged; not the kind of closeness her coworkers shared.
She had always known she was only there because of Jenny, and for many months she had had to fight the temptation to go to Jenny and ask to go home. To say she did not want to be part of NCIS; part of Team Gibbs. She had not understood the people; she had not understood their emotions; she had not understood why and how they cared. She had not understood and she had not wanted to.
Then everything had changed: Dr. Mallard had snapped at her; Abby had slapped her; she had broken down and cried in Gibbs's arms. She had been accused of murder and Team Gibbs, believing in her innocence, had stood by her.
And it was then she had known she had a choice: stop fighting and join Team Gibbs or go on fighting and be lonely.
She stopped fighting.
It had not been easy; even now she cannot always understand the depths of their feelings for one another. Cannot understand why one moment DiNozzo is undermining McGee, the next they are laughing together.
Then she had a completely new fight on her hands. A new temptation to which she could not yield.
She had no longer wanted to hurt DiNozzo, well she had but in a far lesser way. Instead she had believed she was in love with him.
But the timing had been wrong. He had stopped flirting with her; he had finally fallen in love himself. And it was not with her.
Then she had to fight not to give into the temptation to tell him how she felt. Instead she had watched and waited until it all fell apart.
She had thought that maybe he would turn to her and she would have let him. But he had not. Not only had he stopped flirting with her; he had barely even seemed to notice she was alive. And he had reverted to the man he had been when she had first met him; in fact he had regressed beyond that. She should not have still been interested in him, but she was.
Each day she fights the double temptation: hurt him or kiss him. She does neither.
Today things came to a head.
"Well? What's it to be? Yes or no, Ziva? It's an easy enough question."
But is it?
Now that she has the chance, now that he is there, standing in front of her, offering her him, she does not know.
She does not know if she should yield to this temptation or, like all others where Tony DiNozzo was concerned, fight her desires and turn away.
If she yields to the temptation what will happen?
If she fights the temptation what will happen?
She has never been uncertain in a relationship before; but then most of her sexual liaisons were not 'relationships'. They were purely for physical gratification.
She has seen Tony in love. She has seen the passion he has. She has seen what he is like when he cares. When he truly cares. She has seen it and suddenly she is not sure that she wants it directed at her. Because she knows if she yields this will be it for both of them.
Fight or yield?
Yield or fight?
She yields. The fight is over.
Feedback is always appreciated
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