COULD NOT HELP IT
Ziva knows falling in love with Tony was a bad idea.
A DiNozzo/Ziva pre-het story.
Written: September 2008. Word count: 300.
Falling in love with Tony had been a bad idea. She knows that. But she could not help it. It had happened.
Even now she is surprised it had not been a conscious choice.
Even now she can hardly believe it has happened to her. But it has. She is in love with a man who is in love with another woman.
She is in love with a man who until this year had spent time flirting with her and trying to get her into bed.
And now that she is ready to go to bed with him, he is no longer interested in her.
Yes, falling in love with Anthony DiNozzo had been a very bad idea.
Letting Ducky know that she was in love with Tony had been another bad idea. Not that she had been aware she was letting her feelings show.
It is not that she does not trust Ducky; she does. She knows he will not speak of it to anyone else.
It is just that she does not like anyone to know her vulnerabilities, because that, in her world, can be costly.
Nor does she like anyone to have any kind of hold over her and now Ducky does. Even though she knows Ducky does not see it in those terms, even though she knows Ducky would never use the information, she still does not like it.
She wishes she could undo it.
She wishes she had not stayed in the bar with Ducky.
She wishes she had not spoken to him of Tony and let him see her feelings.
She wishes she had not fallen in love with Tony.
Doing so had been a bad idea.
However, bad idea or not, she could not help it.
Now she has to live with it.
Feedback is always appreciated
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