Nikki Harrington


Set after One Good Man.

 Ray realizes how much Benny means to him.

An established relationship story.

Written: June 2007. Word count: 625.



I learned something tonight. I learned I loved Benny more than I love my Riv.

Not that at the time, my Riv was my Riv, you understand. It more like my potential Riv.


After Benny had made me blow up my old Riv, I'd spent months trying to find a replacement for her. Not that I ever could replace her. I couldn't. But I wanted another Riv. It was part of what I was; who I was. Finally, I had found one; all I needed was the money. Tonight I had it. And what did I do? I went and gave most of it away.




To help Benny.


I paid people to go and listen to Benny talk.


There he was on the podium at the City Council Chambers trying to persuade them to listen to him. To listen to him tell them that his landlord had raised the rent too much, and so the tenants were going to be homeless.


There was hardly anyone there, and that didn't seem right to me. Benny does so much for this City, so much for the tenants of his apartment block, so much for everyone, and no one was there for him. He must have felt unappreciated, felt that no one cared. Except, Benny wouldn't feel that. But I did. I felt it on his behalf. And I couldn't have that.


I couldn't have the nicest man, the kindest man, the most aggravating man in the world, the man I love, the man I'm in love with, the man who makes my life worth living, the man who completes me, the man who, although he never says it to me, does appreciate me and what I do for him, just as I appreciate him for saving my humanity, stand there and talk to emptiness.


So I went out onto the street and handed people the money I'd saved for the Riv. I knew as I did it that I was probably giving up my chances of getting her; but it didn't matter. It didn't matter at all.


All that mattered was Benny. All that mattered, to me, was him seeing that he was appreciated; that he did matter. That one man, Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, could make a difference.


And it was then I believed he could. I hadn't done before, not really. I admit that. But as I stood on the street, giving out my hard earned cash, giving away my Riv, it was then I realized one man, the right man, could make a difference. And it was time Chicago, or at least one, small part of it, showed him that.


And they did.


Benny won the day.


With a bit of help from me.


But that's okay, because that's what partners do for each other.


Benny and me, we're partners.


I've always known I love him, am in love with him, but until tonight, I don't think I knew how much. I don't think I knew quite how much I appreciated him for saving me, for what he'd done for me. I realized I'd under appreciated him, so much; just like everyone else. And you know why? Because Benny doesn't look for appreciation; that's not why he does what he does. He does it because he's Benny.


He's sleeping now, sleeping next to me. Tired out from our lovemaking; me, I'm still watching him, keeping an eye on him, looking out for him, just as I always do.


Just as he always does for me.

I learned something tonight. I learned I loved Benny more than I love my Riv.


And it was a lesson that was late in coming, but maybe all the more sweet because of that. 



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